They’re probably thinking paracetamol

The turbo button slows it down

I’m not from Philadelphia, but I though the two acceptable cheeses were cheese whiz and provolone.

But what happens when the door opens?

Empirical means based on data. The word you are looking for is imperial.

Also, metric measurements are in base 10, so you have it backwards.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/56/Obelix1.png

My Garfield requirements are #1 and #3

The sky has a larger bladder

(maybe)

Bar soap makes my skin feel weird