Become a trapdoor spider, and leave a basket of Bed Bath and Beyond gift cards outside your door as bait?
Step two say ??? No idea what really. Maybe cross your fingers you have a shared interest and the whole kidnapping thing isn’t a big deal.
Step three be in a relationship, and probably learn to leave room more often.
I mean technically the federal reserve is a ponzi scheme they charge interest on money printed requiring more money to be paid back than they printed. Ergo there isn’t enough print money in existence to pay them back.