Hossenfeffer

Pffft. 70s Scotland says ‘hold my beer’.

We had a Witches Hat. Far bigger than the one in this video and we went a lot quicker and with a lot more perturbation.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMvSQ3i4Ez4&t=115s

I was shaving my head. Happened to have the news on the TV in the background and thought ‘fuck, that’s awful’ after the first plane, then ‘fuck, that’s deliberate’ after the second. I guess the twin towers is our ‘you remember where you were moment’ for those of us too young to remember the moon landings.

Meh.

I was getting a Chinese takeout a while back. A guy came in to pick up his order and sank 4 cans of Carlsberg Special Brew (7.5% ABV) in the 5 minutes it took them to get it ready for him. He wasn’t savouring this beer, he was just fucking necking it as fast as possible.

Who knows the struggles other people are going through and the things they do to get through the day without losing it.

I like boats. Plus I’m a billionaire now.

The problem is that it’s so much money that you can clear out the inventory of almost anything you would buy while only chewing a few percent off the bankroll.

I shop at Burgess.

We actually use program for computer programs, but programme for a programe of events. We like to be irregular.

Woo-hoo, I’m a youngster (in this deomgraphic)!

Pedantry: it putter not potter.

Confidently wrong.

Phat.

… and dog’s bollocks.

I’d be pretty distracted by the bear waiting behind me for his go.

… and yet when I do a beautiful, booming bottom burp in front of King Charlie-come-lately I get hauled away by the Royal Protection Squad!

Yes, there have been a few comments mentioning Tikka masala, but can you name another British dish with flavor? I don’t think so.

Let’s kick off with curries! We’ve been eating ‘curry’ since 1598, so longer than a lot of other countries have existed. As well as chicken tikka masalla, we’ve adapted or invented a few, such as:

• Madras curries
• Jalfrezi curries
• Balti curries
• Phall curries

For other British dishes with flavour, try (in no particular order):

• Any Sunday roast; beef with Yorkshires and horseradish sauce, pork with applesauce, lamb with mint sauce.
• Full English, full Scottish, Ulster Fry, Full Welsh
• Kedgeree
• Steak and kidney pudding
• Cream tea
• A proper ploughman’s lunch
• Sausage, mash, onion gravy with English mustard
• Cullen skink
• Shepherd’s pie / cottage pie
• Fish pie
• Irish stew
• Lancashire Hot Pot
• Marmite on toast
• Bacon sarnie
• Kippers
• Sheffield fishcake butty
• Welsh rarebit

Fuckin’ shark. As long as we’re up a mountain.

You don’t need to fuel a castle, silly!

We can 'elp you. We deal with stiffs. We can burn ‘er, bury ‘er, or dump ‘er.

Your pigs-in-blankets are incorrect.

I think it’s because it was designed to be able to handle hundreds of persistent objects in a scene as a priority over graphical performance. That’s why Bethesda games have so much collectable junk - because they can.

So crazy that people still believe this.

The other twelve disciples (Bobert, Dave, Big Dave, Little Dave, Deathlord, Dolores, Fifibelle, Larry, Lucifer, Tarquin, and Zebuchenezuzuzuzechazzachuah) were on the other side of the table.

Who do you think took the photo? Do you think Jesus had a selfie-stick? SMH.