Don’t forget that eggs also come out the hole!! If you’ve ever seen fresh farm eggs before, you have to wash them before you use them because they’re covered in piss and shit. Yum!

There’s an excellent episode of the Sopranos where they end up going to Italy. And even though their whole personality is “Italian” they find that they have nothing in common with actual Italians. That show is a masterpiece.

That sneaky fuck

I was tricked into working for him a second time by my former manager. See, my former manager was excellent but he left before crazy boss man was revealed to be as crazy as he was. So when former manager asked if I wanted to join him at his new job I didn’t skip a beat. I literally found out on my first day when he welcomed me to the team and said “it’s like we’re getting the band back together!”. But I’m glad I stayed because my company fired him literally the day before they announced wfh cuz COVID. And then everything was great… Minus the COVID stuff of course.

I had a boss who was like this once. Every time someone would hire him as the VP of marketing for their company, he would immediately say they need to rebrand. But would he hire someone or some company to do the necessary research and create a brand based on market needs? No! Every single time he would go to some website where you post a design contest and have people submit entries for the new logo. No other thought went into it. Then the company would be stuck with a new but poorly thought out brand that would require loads of bandaid fixes for years to come. I only worked for him twice, but it was twice too many and this always made my blood boil.

The lesson here is, pay professionals appropriately who know what they’re doing.

It says posted 18 years ago, but I’m pretty sure this predates YouTube even. Now I feel old… gross.

My choices are AT&T and Comcast. Both are shitty and treat you equally shitty, but Comcast actually works most of the time ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I used to fly united quite a bit and it used to be pretty good. But these days my options for flying for work are united, delta, and southwest and I usually choose delta because they don’t charge you for shit and you can have both an overhead carry on and a small bag plus free internet on the plane. In the end they’re all shit, but I’m going to pick the lesser of the shits each time. Same reason I have Comcast internet.

And then there’s you did everything you possibly could yourself and you did your best and saved tons of money, but now you actually do need to pay someone to do the thing you don’t trust yourself to do so you saved money just for the thing, but no contractor will agree to come do the thing because demand is high and they would rather do commercial projects. So yeah… You can’t even pay a pro and you’re just fucked 🤷

We still have one in Illinois but I’m not sure how it’s still holding on. Used to love going in there. Loads of specialized parts and equipment as well as staff that were super knowledgeable and helpful. But at least we have Microcenter now… Which is like if you took a Fry’s and scaled it down and made it work more like a car dealership 😭😭😭

First sentence: wow I absolutely agree. It’s such a shame that mothers have to go back to work so soon after giving birth. We should work toward guaranteeing parental time off for all parents.

Second sentence: yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaah… Um… Nevermind.

You ever drink Bailey’s from a shoe?

Do I look like I know what a JPEG is? I just want a picture of a got-dang hotdog!

DAAAAAMN DANIEL WITH THE WHITE VANS

I went to Meijer a week ago and saw they had a pallet of candy corn. I was like wow this early? And I bought a bag thinking it must be left over from last year or something, but no it was just the opposite. It was the freshest bag of candy corn I’ve ever eaten and it was very delicious. But it also made me realize that the reason I’m never getting fresh candy corn for Halloween is because they literally make it and ship it in late July/early August and then just let it sit there for 3 months until Halloween. But at least now I know when the best time is to buy candy corn… So there’s that.

This is a beautiful diagram. You should hang it on the fridge. The one with the beer

Eleven tenty one?

Rolie-polies!!!

Look at this guy. He doesn’t know about the 3 seashells!!!

HOW DO YOU TURN THIS ON