Every morning I clock into work, and 12 hours later I clock out covered in jizz because someone dropped their phone while looking at porn and turned the whole trip into a goddamn gangbang. I can’t take it anymore. I’m literally knee deep in spunk by the end of the day, because all you motherfuckers are apparently lubing up your hands and can’t get a grip. We’ve all had to start wearing blindfolds when we exit the front so we don’t accidentally get a peak and start furiously cranking our cocks to “thugposts” or “femboys” or whatever the newest horny fad is.
For the love of god, stop dropping your phone on the fucking train.
The worst part is when someone triggers the emergency brakes at high speed and all the cum gets forced to the front of the train - that is when the laser-like leaks of highly pressurised cum cut down everything in a 1km radius.
My wife died from high velocity cum. I’m holding a silent vigil tonight, you’re welcome to come. Masturbation is allowed but only when silent and discrete.
Stop dropping your phone on the fucking train
Every morning I clock into work, and 12 hours later I clock out covered in jizz because someone dropped their phone while looking at porn and turned the whole trip into a goddamn gangbang. I can’t take it anymore. I’m literally knee deep in spunk by the end of the day, because all you motherfuckers are apparently lubing up your hands and can’t get a grip. We’ve all had to start wearing blindfolds when we exit the front so we don’t accidentally get a peak and start furiously cranking our cocks to “thugposts” or “femboys” or whatever the newest horny fad is.
For the love of god, stop dropping your phone on the fucking train.
It’s better to cum in the train than to train in the cum.
The worst part is when someone triggers the emergency brakes at high speed and all the cum gets forced to the front of the train - that is when the laser-like leaks of highly pressurised cum cut down everything in a 1km radius.
My wife died from high velocity cum. I’m holding a silent vigil tonight, you’re welcome to come. Masturbation is allowed but only when silent and discrete.
Get a weighted coffin so it won’t float.
I can’t breathe.